Monday, 6 August 2012

Funny Newspaper Articles: Stories that escaped the Editor

There are some irreversibly funny gaffes we the newspaper people continue to commit in the course of our journalistic endeavors. Blame it on stress, long hours or even bad office food. But truth sometimes comes in packages of appallingly ugly articles – even if mistyped or worst, misspelled. How stories are definitely manipulable! 

The ignominies listed here are some of the classic technical crimes – mostly mistyped or Spoonerisms – that escaped the prying eyes of The Morung Express Editor to land up in your morning tea, since 2005.

You see, dear reader, over the years I’d been collecting “specimens” of ‘transgressions’ that found place in the print. Our sins – journalists’ – are many and the irrevocability of the printed letter compounds our failings!

Examine these few time-tested sins committed by my fellow Morung journalists and Yours Truly as well. They all are from my “private collections,” all from The Morung Express (if we would, you can plain imagine what the state of the other dailies, perhaps).

The ‘things’ in the following are mostly unintentional spoonerisms owing to erroneous rephrasing by reporters during filing reports or simply straight quotes right from the mouths of the sources themselves – only to be murdered by typing.

Some of you may have come across a few of these horrors when you picked up the newspaper. Enjoy:

  • ‘The Naga Hoho has appealed to the pubic to put more effort…’
  • ‘…and said you are the kind of pubic the Nagas need at this crucial juncture’
  • ‘Nagaland Chief Minister Neiphiu Rio today asserted that the Cock upholds the identity of the Nagas…’
  • “Minister TR Zeliang appreciated the quality of the beauty contest and said this time, it has taken a parading shit…”
  • Thief Minister Neiphiu Rio today said the DoNER Ministry …’
  • ‘The valedictory function was graced by the Horrible Minister of Industry & Commerce Khekhio Zhimomi…’
  • ‘The horri’ble MLA alleged that his counterpart was denying the area development funds since…’
  • ‘When the Thief Guest arrived, the traditional screaming welcomed him…”
  • “Nagaland’s MRP to the Rajya Sabha Wangyuh Konyak …’
  • ‘General Secretary of the North East Students’ Organization NSCN Lotha…’  (Former NSF president NSN Lotha’s name regularly fall victim to Spoonerism and mistyping thanks to his initials’ visual affinity to the nomenclature of the NSCN. And especially for us the Press, when we get hundreds of statements from the NSCNs every second day, somehow our minds are always naturally browbeaten by habit!)

(This article was originally published in The Morung Express, September 7. 2011)

©2012 Al Ngullie ALL RIGHTS RESERVED This article contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this article may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

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